Senior Manager CV: mistakes

The CV below was a genuine CV that one of our writers worked on. We’ve added highlighted the problems and remedies in red.

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Contact Details

David Allinclude

23 Rivercrest Drive

Guildford

Surrey

GU75 3LW

(T): 0191 556 7234

(E): david.allinclude@formatright.co.uk

The candidate has recently moved but has used his old telephone number, probably out of force of habit. He has also accidentally included his work email address. Make sure that the contact details you use are absolutely correct to avoid any issues later.

Personal Profile I am an experienced sales manager with extensive experience within the signage and large format printing industry.  As a dynamic and results-driven manufacturing warrior I have spearheaded many business and operational initiatives. In spite of my age I believe I have a lot of experience and can offer a great deal to any organisation and am looking for a job where I can prove myself. Issues: The candidate overuses the word ‘experience’ and includes cheesy or clichéd expressions like ‘results-driven’ and ‘manufacturing warrior’. He also draws too much attention to his age and gives the impression that employers would be taking a risk in taking him on. Aim to be much more positive in your language and highlight what you can offer to a company. For example: Highly successful sales management professional with twelve years board level experience within the print media industry. My philosophy of sales is in identifying opportunities where customers are ready to switch supplier, combined with relentless culturing of existing customer relationships. This strategy led to increasing turnover at my current employer from £2m to £12m over a three-year period. I am now interested in an opportunity with a national organisation that is in need of a transformative sales strategy. 

Career History Sales Manager              Format Right Ltd.                    2009-2012 Responsibilities:
  • Overall control of the company sales strategy
  • Corporate planning and strategy.
  • Provision of adequate resources to meet requirements.
  • Long term strategic planning.
  • Financial and resource planning and capital expenditure / equipment procurement.
  • Forward business planning, strategy and main supplier sourcing / procurement.
  • Recruitment of sales staff.
  • Commercial matters relating to pricing structures in collaboration with fellow directors.
  • Review and approval of quotations for submission to customers.
  • Management representative for the company.
  • Determination of resource requirements and in conjunction with the departmental managers, procurement / facilitation of such.
  • Ensuring customer complaints are promptly investigated and closed out.
Issues: The candidate has listed almost all of his job activities, most of which are secondary to his main task – growing sales for his company. It reads poorly and fails to give the impression of a dynamic, high-level sales executive. Far better would be to concentrate on a smaller number of areas that are key and to expand upon these, with relevant achievements included. For example:  Key points:
  • Appointed as Head of Sales of a declining print media company. Increased turnover from £2 to £12 million within three years and gross profit from 12% to 28% by strengthening existing customer relationships and expanding into new industries, such as not-for-profit and local councils.
  • Implemented a structured commercial agreement process with suppliers incorporating reporting structures, escalation points and service level agreements (SLAs).
  • Streamlined administration and buying functions and managed a consultation process incorporating 12 redundancies, but achieving cost savings of 20%.
  • Expanded the corporate presence and brand throughout the UK by measures such as sponsorship of a regional rugby club, pro bono work in developing countries and representative activities with national trade bodies and lobbying groups.